She Doesn’t Like Me


About a year ago I sat behind a beautiful gray haired woman in a room full of fire, listening to inspiring words spoken by members of my community.

In my hand were the few poems I had written over the last 6 months, my heart was pounding, the thought of walking up to the podium and sharing my words was paralyzing me. Than she stood up, the beautiful gray haired woman, as she floated to the front of the room and began to speak. Her words fell on the floor like drops of honey, thick and sweet. As I absorbed the moment all I could think of is how much I loved her, how much I wanted to have the courage to share my words with the grace and beauty she possessed. I was sure she would not like me….

My fear and ego got in the way of my true heart. Needing approval from others, not trusting myself held me back. I was missing the life I was meant to live, unable to share my passion because I was afraid.

The beautiful gray haired woman is now one of my dearest friends, if I was not able to let go, follow my heart and allow our relationship to blossom some of the most creative collaborations of my life would have gone undiscovered.

This is from Caroline Myss
I learned one of the most spiritually productive truths that I now rely on each day of my life: when you do not seek or need external approval, you are at your most powerful. Nobody can disempower you emotionally or psychologically. This sporangial security gave me a liberated feeling that was practically euphoric. It made me
appreciate why the famous line to thine own self be true in Shake- speare’s Hamiet is considered a spiritual commandment. You cannot live for prolonged periods of time within the polarity of being true to yourself and needing approval of other. At some point you will realize that you are doing harm to yourself by being what you think you should be so that someone approves of you. In the language of a Contract, compromising who you are to gain approval of others is very percise example of giving away a piece of your spirit.

Follow this link to see Pema Chödrön describe a liberating way to relate to our fears.

Yours Always,

Kim








 

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